Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Wright is wrong... BITCH!!!

It's 6-0 Twinkies in the bottom of the 4th inning as I type this and somewhere, Bill Paxton from Aliens is yelling in that whiny voice, "Game over, man! Game over!!!"

How right you are, Bill. How right you are.

After only 2.1 IP, I've seen enough of Jared Wright to last me a lifetime.

6 BB's, 4 H, 4 ER.

What a line.

If that line was made of powder and sitting on a small mirror I might be compelled to snort it and then mournfully mumble to myself a la Tony Montana. But I would not be grieving over Manolo, no, I would be grieving over the winning season I thought the O's could have this season.

But 3 games into the season or not, with each full count, with each first pitch swinging pop-up, with each mental and physical error, my hopes for a winning season are being dashed about as quickly as Britney Spears went from hot POA to a bald DOA.

And finally, why must we always have a fat pitcher on our roster? I thought we had gotten rid of Ponson because of his poor work ethic amongst 40 other things. Jared Wright, who looks like a frat boy who had one too many Miller High Lifes during his 7 years in college to NOT become a doctor, is a walking candidate for the DL. And after tonight's pitiful performance, I wouldn't be surprised to hear Jared start whining about a sore rotator cuff.

Afterall, those buffet trays DO get heavy when they've got ten pounds of food piled on them.

Here's a thought. Let's only sign or trade for pitchers who take care of their bodies from now on, OK? If these guys don't care about their weight, how the hell are they going to care about their ERA? Unless they want to eat it?

Thank God we didn't trade an in-shape pitcher to get this fat bastard.

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